Parshas Vayechi - Yaakov, Yosef and the Strength of the Struggle

 

Parshas Vayechi is one of the most fascinating parshas in the Torah. Originally dubbed “And he lived”, the truth is it describes Yaakov’s death and final blessing to his children. 

Yaakov gathers them together and offers to reveal the secrets of the Messianic Redemption. According to some sources he lost that prophecy due to the lack of unity amongst the brothers. Others explain that the full revelation was hidden, but much was still revealed in the blessings to the tribes themselves.

In Yaakov’s beginning to bless his firstborn Reuven, he describes in Genesis 49:3

רְאוּבֵן֙ בְּכֹ֣רִי אַ֔תָּה כֹּחִ֖י וְרֵאשִׁ֣ית אוֹנִ֑י יֶ֥תֶר שְׂאֵ֖ת וְיֶ֥תֶר עָֽז

Reuven, you are my first born, my might and the first fruit of my vigor, exceeding in rank and exceeding in honor.

The Gemara in Yevamos 76a explains that Reuven was formed from the very first drop of seed that Yaakov ever emitted in his entire life, at the age of 84.

While from our perspective this might seem like an odd thing to boast about, in Yaakov’s complete purity and innocence, he was setting up the foundation for what made him an Av of Klal Yisrael to begin with. 

Complete self control. A total channeling of his human energy to serve Hashem and Klal Yisrael. This enabled him to be a forefather first and foremost.

But here’s where things get interesting. 

Yosef was supposed to have this too. 

Yaakov didn’t choose Yosef and gift him with a beautiful coat because he simply was playing favorites. Yaakov understood that Yosef had the potential to be unique amongst his brothers, literally the 4th of the Avos of Klal Yisrael. 

The truth is, that according to the Gemara in Sotah 36b, Yosef was supposed to have all 12 tribes be born from him, not his father. 

His dreams about his father and brothers bowing down to him had a firm foundation… but only in theory.

Because his challenge in going down to Egypt and being seduced by the wife of Potifar was the litmus test to determine whether he was actually going to be worthy to be the 4th and final of the Avos, or just one of the tribes. 

And yes, he passed the test. In a moment of inner strength and fortitude, he refused the offers of Mrs Potifar and ended up in the depths of Egyptian jail because of it.

But there was a slight blemish that occurred that prevented his full potential from being realized. 

In the famous verse in Genesis 39:8, he refused her offers, וַיְמָאֵ֓ן…

But as Rabbeinu Bachya points out, that oscillating constellation mark above the Aleph implies some wavering, ambiguity and doubt. 

In fact, a few verses later in Genesis 39:11, where it describes that Yosef entered to the house to do his “work”, the Gemara in Sotah 36b debates whether he was legitimately interested in his household chores or perhaps he had lost his resolve and committed to sin with his master’s wife. 

We can understand his struggle. A 17 year old single handsome young man, abandoned by his family in the center of the most depraved promiscuous culture on earth. He was human after all. And to his credit he ended up having a vision of his father Yaakov and gaining strength to refuse the sin… but the fact that he had even entertained the possibility meant he wasn’t on the level to be an Av for Klal Yisrael. 

In fact, that Gemara in Sotah 36b uses an interesting imagery, that in his moment of refusal he still spilled seed, but actually through his fingernails that were thrust into the ground. 

Some commentaries on the Gemara like the Ben Ish Chai, quoting the Arizal explain that although this phenomenon was to be taken literally, it meant his seed was emitted in sanctity and even links those drops of holiness to the Torah transmission of the revealed and hidden parts of the Oral Torah. 

But, commentaries like the Ohr Hachaim Hakadosh in his commentary to Genesis 37:2 describe that this emitting seed through his fingertips was a sign of weakness and spiritual blemish, a deficiency that lost him the ability to father all twelve tribes himself. 

Losing seed through 10 fingers lost him the ability to father 10 tribes. But there were 2 more. And that’s why Yosef did merit in fathering Menashe and Ephraim who indeed rose up in their own capacity as 2 of the tribes of Israel. 

But let’s go even deeper. 

Because there is a concept in Chassidus that even when one sins, Hashem was there in that moment and that falling was a part of one’s spiritual development. 

The Gemara in 43a explains that a person CANNOT truly understand the words of Torah properly unless he stumbles in them first.

We see this concept with Yehuda and Tamar where the Midrash describes that Hashem literally pushed him into this seemingly scandalous union.  

We see this concept again with the story of Dovid and Batsheva where the Gemara in Avodah Zara 4b describes that Hashem pushed Dovid into this sin in order to set up a paradigm of Teshuva for all generations. 

Now, as the Chassidic masters explain, we cannot apply this concept before the action and justify our sins explaining that Hashem really wants us to do this. 

But, if we do fall, as human beings tend to do, then looking back, we can understand that the experience can be learned from, grown from and good things can come out of it. 

So too with Yosef Hatzaddik. It was exactly because the test was so hard for him, he had committed to sin and then was able to pull himself back up that he set up the paradigm for Klal Yisrael to have the inner fortitude to triumph even in the toughest of times. 

We aren’t always able to be on the level of Yaakov Avinu with perfect self control and discipline. Klal Yisrael needed Yosef to fail his test, to step down a notch, in order to give us a path to do Teshuva for all time. 

And perhaps with this in mind, we can explain the debate between Yaakov and Yosef on who to bless first, Menashe or Ephraim. 

Yosef argued that Menashe was the first born and therefore should get the first blessing. You, Yaakov, should know more than anyone else the challenge of usurping the first born from your experience with Esav, Rochel and Leah and the favoritism of Yosef himself. 

But Yaakov felt differently. 

He was the Av of Klal Yisrael, not Yosef. He understood that hidden within their names was the secret to this idea. 

Menashe’s named implied forgetting the past, as we see in Genesis 41:51:

“God has made me completely forget my hardship and my parental home.”

While the name of Ephraim in Genesis 41:52 implied hope for the future:

“God has made me fertile in the land of my affliction.”

Yaakov understood Yosef’s desire to put primacy on Menashe. He was holding on the guilt, shame and regret of the past and he wanted to move on from that. 

But said Yaakov, we can’t build Klal Yisrael with that as the foundation. We first need to focus on the future, the hope and the potential. Ephraim needs the blessing of the firstborn and only afterwards can we pick up the pieces of the past. 

In trauma therapy it is critical that the goal simply can’t be “getting past trauma” or not being traumatized. The person has to understand who they truly are, what is their potential, and who they truly desire to become. Only then can the work of reprocessing the past align with their primary goals of living in the present and driving to the future. 

This is what Yaakov deeply knew and Yosef needed to learn. Yes Yosef fell. Yes he was imperfect. But to be a builder of Klal Yisrael you have to start with the positive and everything else will align as well. 

Good Shabbos.